Sunday, November 11, 2012

Diary of a lonely man

Nothing seems to be exciting. The same train to office. Faces buried in newspapers every morning. Same sidewalk to work everyday. Coffee from the same Deli. Same people at work. Same desk and same machine. Same copier. Tough day. Long walk back home. Leftover salad for dinner. Voicemail from parents. Time to crash.

6:30 AM. Loud alarm and sun sneaking through the window. Same face on the mirror. Same old suit. Another tie. New cute face in the train. I try to gaze. She feels awkward. I feel even more. No more contact. Salad from Deli to go with the coffee. No mood for lunch. No work either. Back home online. Friday night and nothing exciting. Its raining. And I crash.

Morning! Surprise knock at the door. Something new? Nah, just a rent notice. Slide it on the table. Time for channel 7. CNN. Giants won last night. Seriously? Good for them. Vantage Point. Afternoon nap. Need a coffee. Starbucks and a long walk. Sat at the park. Watching the world pass by. Notice a cute couple kissing. I stare. I feel awkward. Walk back home. Bread for dinner. Channel surfing on couch.

Sunday late morning. Still on couch. Bad neck sprain. Thank God for the spray. Lazy day. Preparing for meeting tomorrow. Laundry. Dishes. Dusting. Grocery shopping. Cute lady cashier. I smile. No smile back. Wondering. Looking at myself in the mirror. Still wondering. Never mind. Early to bed. But no sleep. Thoughts won't let me sleep.

Late AM. Late to work. Grumpy boss. Like I care. Notice a cute face in another office across the street. Beautiful. Really beautiful. Stare. Keep staring until there is contact. Shy away. Look back. Eye contact. Shy away again. I feel awkward. Can't help but look back. Notice she looking at me. And staring away as soon as we have contact. Get curious. Look back. She looks back. Eye contact. No smile. Poker face. Get back to work. Look again after a while. Notice she looking. Weird expression. She wants to say something. Writes something on a blank paper and shows. '911?'. My face turns blue. Don't know what to do. Just then, she writes back something on another paper and shows. 'I'm kidding'. And then another. 'Jennifer'. Beautiful smile. I smile back and write. 'Nick'. She writes. 'Nice to meet you'. I write back. 'Nice to meet you too'.

Feel fresh this morning. Almost looking forward to something. Don't know what. Don't know why. Plain excited. Train journey seems exciting now. Thinking about something. Someone. Reach office all smiles. Look for her. I write. 'Nice dress'. She writes back. 'New one'. All smiles. It becomes regular everyday. Funny faces. 'Good Morning'. 'Good Night'. Sometimes we even play tic-tac-toe. We become silly. In a happy way. Everyday.

Life is exciting again. Don't need alarms any more. No more sad faces in train. Sidewalks seem colorful. And coffee was never so sweet. We stare at each other. For hours. Not saying a word. Not even writing. Only smiles. She then writes. 'I have a secret'. I am puzzled. What could the secret be? I look. In anticipation. She writes back. 'I used to stare at you first'. I smile. Almost turn red. Feel the need to ask her. I signal to her to wait as I write something. 'Do you want to meet?' No. Wait. Really? Should I? I am thinking. She is waiting. I look at her. Still thinking if I should show her. She gets a call. Seems shocked. Looks at me with moist eyes. I don't know what to do. She starts to step away. Still looking at me. Waiting for me to show her what I wrote. I couldn't. She leaves.

Back home. See myself in mirror. I practice. How do I look while I hold the paper that reads 'Do you want to meet?'. I look silly when I try to look good. Why try? Will just be me. Simple. Early morning next day. All smiles. Today, I will just say it. I run towards the elevator. Ah damn it is taking too long to start. I run towards the stairs. Climb up. Get to my seat. Remove the paper from my pocket. Look at her to show. She's not there! Where is she? The desk is empty. I see a guy walking towards the same desk that used to be hers. Arranging the desk. Where is Jennifer? I gasp. I walk towards the window. Look around. She's gone.

I keep staring at the paper I wrote that reads 'Do you want to meet?'. Stare all day and all night. Wondering as I lie on my bed. What just happened? Was this all an illusion? How could she leave? Where could she have left? I should have asked her yesterday. She surely wanted me to. I could see it in her eyes. I'm dejected.

Cruel morning. Same old train. Same sidewalk. Same people at work. I look at where she used to be. She is not there. Head held low. Trying to be sane. Tough day at work. Grumpy boss. Grumpier me. Sit at the waterfront. Stare at the sea. Not looking for anything. Anyone. Just stare. Walk back home. Tired.

Life sucks and I'm a lonely man again. Sigh!

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This is pure fiction. My first attempt at writing and publishing a short story. I have written few in the past. But this is the first one to find its way to the blog. Different style of writing. I don't know if it works.  Do leave a comment if you like. Or even if you don't. 

6 comments:

Korgaonkar Natraj said...

Oey... Write a book on short stories

aniket said...

nice.... but seems too short a bit more twists with a sweet end would have been icing on the cake.. :)

Trek said...

Awesome bro...
Liked ur style & ur describing skills..
keep it gnging...
Enjoyed a lot... :D

Unknown said...

I liked this. I feel like similar scenarios happen to me on a regular basis.

Ramneek Kaur said...

nice.. good style of writing.. i like it v much!

Missy Mousy said...

Beginning was more promising than the end. Liked it nevertheless