Sunday, January 4, 2015

The last bark

His car pulled up in front of the modest patio along the deserted dusty road. No sooner did he shut the door of his car, Moti came out running towards its master, barking in joy, tail right up and tongue wiggling in utmost pleasure. Moti was extremely happy to see Umeshbhai, as all the fellow villagers used to call him, who had returned home after a much painful city tour. Umeshbhai was a small time trader dealing in plastic toys for kids. Chobari village from the Bhachau taluka of Kuttch, Gujarat had a plethora of poor but talented peasants. Although the country had attained independence more than 50 years ago, and most part of the country was flourishing with commercialization, the Bhachau taluka and Chobari village in particular was still languishing in the pre-industrial age.

Nothing much had changed in Chobari apart from a few migrants from nearby villages adding to the 6000 odd people residing and a few crumbling schools, hospitals springing up in the last few years. Infrastructure was lacking, one could still see a few bullock carts tugging along, women drawing buckets of water from the well, and old men sitting outside small paan-beedi shops snuffing into the desi versions of nicotine. The nearest railway station was more than 160 kms away at Rajkot. More than anything, the village boasted of the primitive Shiva temple which drew crowds from several small villages nearby. It was believed to be setup by the Pandavas more than 5000 years ago.

Umeshbhai was considered a wealthy person, one of very few, from the Chobari village. He owned a big piece of land behind his house which he used to rent out to the village sarpanch for conducting their annual village gatherings and panchayats. Otherwise a busy person, whenever Umeshbhai was free or felt slightly unwell to travel to the city for work, he used to spend time and play with Moti, a street dog he had found a few years ago from the city which he adopted and gave shelter to at his Chobari home. Moti was considered an integral part of the family which consisted of Saritaben, Umeshbhai's wife and Madan their 10 year old son who used to study at the Chobari primary school.

On a chilly Wednesday morning; January in Kuttch region was the coldest period of the year; Moti woke up with a start. Daylight had not yet landed on the dusty bylanes of Chobari, a little before dawn, when suddenly there was a lot of howling and shrieking heard from several miles away. No sooner did the moans grow louder, Moti sprung up from its sleep chattai and ran out towards the street. It had learnt how to unlock the door knob with its nose and did not break a sweat in doing so even this morning.

Moti started moving violently towards the vast land behind Umeshbhai's house, ran towards the center of the land and stood there barking its lungs out, groaning in pain. Its strange behaviour and loud cries soon woke up Umeshbhai and a few other village elders who came out of the house, more out of concern for Moti than fear. Umeshbhai called for Moti, but the canine won't budge. "May be he is not well, we should show him to the vaidji?" said Roshanji, Umeshbhai's neighbor who also used to feed and play with Moti frequently. "Lets go and check." Umeshbhai sprinted towards Moti to the middle of the barren land.

Moti stood there barking, the intensity getting lesser with every second bark. Umeshbhai leaned down to his knees and hugged Moti tight, giving him the most passionate embrace. Moti responded by giving out a really profound mourn, one that had a lot of emotions, one that it seemed to be delivered from the most compassionate part of its inside. Moti was ill, it was looking pale and caught under the weather. Umeshbhai lifted Moti in his arms and carried it back home, carefully placing it on the warm quilt and covering it with a bedsheet to protect it from the cold. He asked his wife to warm a bowl of milk for Moti.

Within a few minutes, the warm milk seemed to have done the trick, Moti fell in silent slumber. Umeshbhai looked at it with a sense of comfort and felt happy. He left for the local market thereafter to meet the peasants while Madan left for school and Saritaben got busy in her daily household chores. Chobari was a really sleepy village, and the practice in the village and nearby villages was a unique one. All the small businesses and shops would remain shut for a few hours after lunch time to rest. The morning rush, business, satisfaction of work was not the basis of determining if the day was well spent. A good day in Chobari was a day when one would get the most peaceful afternoon sleep. Business and shops would resume only by 4 PM on any given day until sunset.

This day was no different; every living being of the small village was in deep sleep when all of a sudden Moti decided to bring an end to the silence. He again started barking his lungs out, crying as if to suggest something to Umeshbhai and rest of the village. It was getting back to being what it was in the morning. Howling for no reason, trying to suggest something to people around, running towards the open land behind the house. It invariably ended up dragging Umeshbhai and the rest of the village elders to the middle of the huge open field and stay there. It stayed there barking with the intensity getting lesser by the minute. Once again, Umeshbhai carried it back home that afternoon. He laid it to rest, looking at it patiently from a distance. Wondering what was wrong with Moti, he had never behaved in such a way in the past. Moti was an obedient pet and used to comply with all its masters orders. Today, things were different though. Moti was being difficult, no one knew why.

That night, Moti was tied up to the side of the bed with a harness. The rope was long enough for it to roam around the room, but it could not go out of the room. Umeshbhai did it, not because of fear of losing Moti, but out of concern. He did not want Moti to create a fracas again out in the fields. He did not want to inconvenience his neighbours and other villagers. Moreover, he was perturbed with the thought that a spirit, a supernatural being had resided over Moti's soul. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind, but there was little he could do.

All hell broke loose when in the middle of the night there were loud thuds being heard from the room everyone was sleeping in. Umeshbhai was stunned at the sight and sprang up running towards Moti who was banging its head on the door, trying to break it. It was weird because Moti knew how to unlock the door, it was still violently trying to bash open the door while being tied to the harness. It was very restless and nervous, but was really exerting immense force to break free from the bed it was tied to. Umeshbhai did not understand this and immediately released the harness fearing Moti would break open the bed mast. Moti ran outside the house towards the open field behind howling along the way and breaking into the deathly silence of the chilly night.

Umeshbhai followed Moti and found himself smack bang in the middle of the field behind his house. That is where Moti sat crying and Umeshbhai stood there valiant as ever with his best friend. The chilly sub-normal temperature did not seem to have any effect on Moti. It sat there gently clawing onto Umeshbhai's pyjama, not letting him go. Umeshbhai was losing his patience with Moti. As much he was concerned about Moti's health, he was starting to get agitated at the whole affair and wanted to bring it to an end. He picked up Moti even when it was protesting to be taken back home. Umeshbhai was furious; he carried it back home and tied it with two different harnesses. Moti cried in pain, but it had to give up against the tough built of Umeshbhai.

Moti did not sleep that night, nor did Umeshbhai. It kept crying softly looking towards Umeshbhai and then towards the door. Umeshbhai was worried but he did not know what to do. Slowly but surely amidst a million thoughts pointing to an equal number of possibilities likely; his weary head faded into a serene slumber. Next morning was routine, Moti was tired and did not have the early morning biscuits that Saritadevi always used to feed it. Moti remained in its chattai, lazily sniffing about here and there, crawling inside the house with no intention to settle.

That evening, Umeshbhai and Roshanji were sitting on the khaat discussing what could be done to bring back Moti to its normal self. After much ponder and discourse, nothing materialized and they both decided to observe for another day and then opine further. Umeshbhai had a busy day tomorrow since it was a public holiday which meant more buyers for his toys in the city market. No sooner did Umeshbhai settle on his bed post dinner to rest anticipating a big and tiring day tomorrow did Moti began to get violent again. The fierce little being with all its might marched towards the open field in the back of the house and settled there. It had one leg up in the air as if to call Umeshbhai and the rest of the villagers. Umeshbhai and a couple other elders went towards Moti and started petting it gently to calm it down. Moti responded well by licking their hands and pulling them closer as if to suggest them to settle with it in the middle of the field.

After spending a good few minutes with Moti, they carried it back home, tied it to the harness and left it to sniff about within the room. Moti was looking pale and exhausted, slightly older than its usual self. Soon enough, the dusky orange gave way to the gloom of the dark night. The chirp of the birds had died; the whoosh of the trees had all faded into the stillness of the night. Chobari was asleep. Not a spec in the sky, not even the moon could be remotely seen. It was the chilliest night of the season not just in mercury but also because of the quietest deathly muteness that prevailed in the air.

Next day, it was 26th January, 2001, the 52nd Republic Day of India. Whole of India was up early excited and anxious at the prospect of the patriotic processions planned in each city. Chobari was no different. Madan was all gleaming and ready to sing patriotic songs at the Chobari Primary School that morning following which the principal would be hoisting the national flag. Umeshbhai was getting ready to leave for the city with a hope he would sell all the toys. Saritadevi was finishing up the morning breakfast. Moti was surprisingly active today, he had been released from the harness and was sniffing along on the road outside the patio, behaving normal, tail up and waging about in glory. The clock struck 8.46 AM, and just then, the worst disaster in the history of Chobari unfolded. It lasted just 2 minutes, but brought down everything with unmatched valor and force.

A few minutes later, nothing remained. Houses were a mere stock of bricks and loose mortar. The Shiva temple was completely destroyed, with only the Shiv-ling shining about glowing under the rays of the sun surrounded by red bricks, half broken. Schools had only books, dusty slates and a few lunch boxes lying about above the heavy debris that had crushed all students beneath. Chobari had vanished from the face of the earth. Almost as if, it was gulped by the planet, forcing everything within itself. 

Moti sniffed around of what was erstwhile its abode. It was just a huge pile of debris now, across which it made its way to its room, sneaked beneath the debris, clawing its way. Soon enough, Moti emerged from under the biggest pile of concrete, picking up its chattai. A few grunts and barks along the way, it swiftly moved towards the center of the field. There was no debris there. Moti laid the chattai, sat on it, tongue wagging out, a sorry face; it kept staring at the picture in front. It was a sorry picture. One that Moti had already seen between its ears. A picture that had come to life. 

Moti let out a loud bark, only to hear it echo back. It was the last bark. ~

Sunday, October 19, 2014

This better be worth it

"This better be worth it". I told her as she held my hand and guided me. I don't know what was in her mind. I was blindfolded and all I could sense is she is taking me through a crowded place as I could hear people talk in the background. "It's a surprise for you, have patience and trust me for once". This is unique to girls somehow. They will tell you something and not mean it, but still tell you. She knew I trusted her, but she had to say this. On another day, they will say the same thing, and also mean it. Girls, they can never be understood. Anyways, I did not say anything and continued to walk.

We entered a quieter place, a room with dim lighting and I could smell a really nice soothing fragrance in the room. "This is it, we are here! Mister, are you ready to face it?"

"Can't wait!". I said with a lot of anticipation and eagerness. I was genuinely excited. Also tad nervous. I knew she had been planning something but she never gave in to my thousand requests of asking her to tell me what she was upto. She did not meet me all of last week and also barely met for an hour only once the week before. She kept saying she was busy with her upcoming business trip and had to prepare hard for it. I respected the other commitments she had and always gave her the space she needed. She would make up for not meeting by talking and chatting endlessly on phone in the night. I was really curious to know what had kept her so busy all these days. She only told me about a surprise today morning when she met me for a few minutes. She forced me to cancel my pre-decided dinner planned for tonight with college friends for this. I hated her for that, but I was a typical guy after all, one extremely cute smile and a peck on my cheeks ensured I cancel all plans and only be with her that evening.

"Tada!!!" she said as she removed the black cloth that covered my eyes.

What I saw, completely took my breath away. I was absolutely awe-struck and totally mesmerized at the sight. My dream was in front of me. The dream I was living for. I could not believe my eyes. I could not believe the moment had arrived. The one moment which I was waiting and endlessly waiting for. My feet got numb, my face turned pale, and my eyes got watery. I could not feel my senses, it was magical. I was speechless. Did not know what to say and how to react.

"Welcome to Serendipity Cafe", she said it out loud with a huge smile.

I simply looked at her, tears rolling down, she came close to me and I just hugged her tight. I did not say a word. I could not. The moment was so overwhelming, it just got the better of me. I could not believe she did this for me. It was my dream. Yes, it was! It is no longer a dream, it is reality now. She not only made my day, she just happened to make my life.

My new coffee shop - Serendipity Cafe was all set and ready to brew!


Sunday, March 9, 2014

The future mirror

It's strange how we get the best of ideas at a place and time where we least expect to receive it. It can be anything from as small as a new activity you decide to do in your spare time or as big as a multi-million dollar new business idea which no one might have ever thought about. Ever wondered why you get it at unusual times? Forget that, have you ever gone ahead and implemented or at the least worked upon the idea? My guess is that most of us, including me, have smiled about the fact they got an idea, felt happy about it and eventually forgot about it.

Today while I was in the shower, my mind was racing, as is always the case. I generally take not less than 45 mins in the shower everyday. In those 45 mins of the day, my mind is as open as a parachute. Absolutely anything and everything under the sun come across my thoughts. Sometimes it makes me laugh, at times I cry, and there are times when I feel absolutely inspired and motivated. Something similar happened today.

I'm going through a sort of a rough patch in my life off lately which keeps me slightly upset. Without getting into much details, it is more than enough to know that I am in a messy situation which has made me rather weak from within. Whenever I'm in such a frame of mind, I have always resorted to writing. I find it extremely comforting and I enjoy the feeling of penning down all that I have in my heart on paper. It makes me light. Moreover, I get a certain joy from writing that I never feel from anything else I do. For the past couple of weeks, I have been writing actively. Am writing a story, and I am writing about general life experiences which I'm going to incorporate in the story. A rather unusual way of writing a story, but it's working for me. It's like, I'm putting my insomnia into perfect use. Every night while I'm lying on my bed and not sleeping, everything that happened through the day I run it in my mind and there you are, I am left with so many instances and experiences that can  be incorporated in the story. Small things. But it is the small things that have a huge impact when put across in a way anyone can relate.

Today in the shower, like any other day, my mind was into my story. It was racing into thoughts. How am I going to shape it, build the characters and what not. Just then, something really simple but marvellous happened. There is a mirror in my bathroom which always gets foggy and unclear everyday because of the warm water shower. I'm sure there is a science behind it but I was least bothered to know the actual reason. Everyday I wipe off the face of the mirror with my hands so that I can see myself clearly. Today, I did the same. But what I saw today, absolutely blew me away.

As I slowly wiped the surface of the mirror to make it clearer, something different and really beautiful started unfolding. I did not see the same frowning face, I did not see the tension lines on the forehead, I did not see the shabby unshaven look, I did not see the crumbled hair, I did not see the uncertainty in the expression, I did not see the problems of the past, I did not see the worries of the present.

I saw a happy and smiling face. I saw an image of myself which I have always wanted to be but had never been all these years. I saw myself enjoying with my family and friends. The smile, joy and happiness is so comforting to see in all their faces, it feels as if this is what I have been living for. I can see myself as a successful author of several best sellers, I can see my brother and bhabhi as successful businessmen, I can see my parents enjoying the best years of their lives, I can see the girl of my dreams and the kind of girl I always wanted as my loving wife. I can see the dream house, the dream car, I can see the satisfaction and content in their eyes. I can see it all, everything that I ever wanted, for myself and for my loving family.

Slowly but surely, I realised I was looking at my future. The magical mirror showed me all that I have ever wanted in my life. It showed me my destination, the very purpose of my existence. I could time travel and see myself in the future. After about a few mins, my otherwise expression-less face turned into an extremely joyful and smiling one. Viola, I just went closer one step to my future. When I saw my future, it instantly brought a rise smile on my face. More importantly, when I saw my future, I got hugely inspired and motivated to make it happen.

When you know where you want to reach in life, only then can you know what it takes to reach there. This 10 mins of magical experience I got today made me realise where I always wanted to be but could never really see it. Today I not only saw my future but also felt it. I almost lived it. The future was so beautiful, now I know that not a day in my life will pass without me not putting any efforts to reach there.

I called it the future mirror. Every day I am going to spend time in front of my future mirror going ahead. Every day I will be living my future. Every day I will be reminding myself of what I am going to become. The best part of the future mirror is that it not only hides the past, but also ignores the present and only shows the future. It shows a beautiful picture.

Go find your future mirror guys. Not asking you to run to your bathrooms and look for a mirror, go deeper into yourselves and find what you really want. Visualise it everyday. Live it. Experience it. Feel it. Someone somewhere has very right said, if you cannot even visualise or imagine what you want I life, there is no chance you will get it.

Happy living! :)


Sunday, November 11, 2012

Diary of a lonely man

Nothing seems to be exciting. The same train to office. Faces buried in newspapers every morning. Same sidewalk to work everyday. Coffee from the same Deli. Same people at work. Same desk and same machine. Same copier. Tough day. Long walk back home. Leftover salad for dinner. Voicemail from parents. Time to crash.

6:30 AM. Loud alarm and sun sneaking through the window. Same face on the mirror. Same old suit. Another tie. New cute face in the train. I try to gaze. She feels awkward. I feel even more. No more contact. Salad from Deli to go with the coffee. No mood for lunch. No work either. Back home online. Friday night and nothing exciting. Its raining. And I crash.

Morning! Surprise knock at the door. Something new? Nah, just a rent notice. Slide it on the table. Time for channel 7. CNN. Giants won last night. Seriously? Good for them. Vantage Point. Afternoon nap. Need a coffee. Starbucks and a long walk. Sat at the park. Watching the world pass by. Notice a cute couple kissing. I stare. I feel awkward. Walk back home. Bread for dinner. Channel surfing on couch.

Sunday late morning. Still on couch. Bad neck sprain. Thank God for the spray. Lazy day. Preparing for meeting tomorrow. Laundry. Dishes. Dusting. Grocery shopping. Cute lady cashier. I smile. No smile back. Wondering. Looking at myself in the mirror. Still wondering. Never mind. Early to bed. But no sleep. Thoughts won't let me sleep.

Late AM. Late to work. Grumpy boss. Like I care. Notice a cute face in another office across the street. Beautiful. Really beautiful. Stare. Keep staring until there is contact. Shy away. Look back. Eye contact. Shy away again. I feel awkward. Can't help but look back. Notice she looking at me. And staring away as soon as we have contact. Get curious. Look back. She looks back. Eye contact. No smile. Poker face. Get back to work. Look again after a while. Notice she looking. Weird expression. She wants to say something. Writes something on a blank paper and shows. '911?'. My face turns blue. Don't know what to do. Just then, she writes back something on another paper and shows. 'I'm kidding'. And then another. 'Jennifer'. Beautiful smile. I smile back and write. 'Nick'. She writes. 'Nice to meet you'. I write back. 'Nice to meet you too'.

Feel fresh this morning. Almost looking forward to something. Don't know what. Don't know why. Plain excited. Train journey seems exciting now. Thinking about something. Someone. Reach office all smiles. Look for her. I write. 'Nice dress'. She writes back. 'New one'. All smiles. It becomes regular everyday. Funny faces. 'Good Morning'. 'Good Night'. Sometimes we even play tic-tac-toe. We become silly. In a happy way. Everyday.

Life is exciting again. Don't need alarms any more. No more sad faces in train. Sidewalks seem colorful. And coffee was never so sweet. We stare at each other. For hours. Not saying a word. Not even writing. Only smiles. She then writes. 'I have a secret'. I am puzzled. What could the secret be? I look. In anticipation. She writes back. 'I used to stare at you first'. I smile. Almost turn red. Feel the need to ask her. I signal to her to wait as I write something. 'Do you want to meet?' No. Wait. Really? Should I? I am thinking. She is waiting. I look at her. Still thinking if I should show her. She gets a call. Seems shocked. Looks at me with moist eyes. I don't know what to do. She starts to step away. Still looking at me. Waiting for me to show her what I wrote. I couldn't. She leaves.

Back home. See myself in mirror. I practice. How do I look while I hold the paper that reads 'Do you want to meet?'. I look silly when I try to look good. Why try? Will just be me. Simple. Early morning next day. All smiles. Today, I will just say it. I run towards the elevator. Ah damn it is taking too long to start. I run towards the stairs. Climb up. Get to my seat. Remove the paper from my pocket. Look at her to show. She's not there! Where is she? The desk is empty. I see a guy walking towards the same desk that used to be hers. Arranging the desk. Where is Jennifer? I gasp. I walk towards the window. Look around. She's gone.

I keep staring at the paper I wrote that reads 'Do you want to meet?'. Stare all day and all night. Wondering as I lie on my bed. What just happened? Was this all an illusion? How could she leave? Where could she have left? I should have asked her yesterday. She surely wanted me to. I could see it in her eyes. I'm dejected.

Cruel morning. Same old train. Same sidewalk. Same people at work. I look at where she used to be. She is not there. Head held low. Trying to be sane. Tough day at work. Grumpy boss. Grumpier me. Sit at the waterfront. Stare at the sea. Not looking for anything. Anyone. Just stare. Walk back home. Tired.

Life sucks and I'm a lonely man again. Sigh!

---------------

This is pure fiction. My first attempt at writing and publishing a short story. I have written few in the past. But this is the first one to find its way to the blog. Different style of writing. I don't know if it works.  Do leave a comment if you like. Or even if you don't. 

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Solitude..





So far from you I am,
So far from the dream we share.
I don’t know about you,
But I’d have longed for you to care.

Dawn is dusk while day is night,
How I wish you would still be within sight.

There is not a time of the day,
When the mind does not wander,
It always sways your way. 

So much I miss,
The feeling of being together.

Just one chance,
Just one breath,
Let me be your thought for once.

There is nothing else I can do,
Nothing else I can ask from you,
As I seek comfort.. in solitude.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

10 years on..

I enjoy writing about certain experiences I go through in life that teach me something. The ones that help me change the way I think for the good. Basically, the ones that make me a better person and help me live with much more fulfillment. But today I am writing something which I want never to happen again. Something that I disliked and find disgusting. I want to write so that I can vent it out of me and not think about it again.  

I was standing at the signal the other day waiting for it to turn green so I could cross the street to the opposite side. I heard someone yelling something behind me. I thought he was talking on the cell phone so I didn't pay heed until I heard some specific words he used. I heard 'bloody', 'killed', 'Americans' and it forced me to look behind. A middle aged white local on a bicycle besides me waiting to cross the street to the other side looked straight at me and was ranting on top of this voice. 

He said and I quote, "10 years ago you f***** our city and now you want to be friends?" 

I was shocked. First reaction in my mind, I really want to give it back. I want to tell him, in his language, that it was not us. And, even if it was us, it was not ME! Why are you telling me? But then, something kept me back. I must admit, I was a bit scared. I didn't want to be a victim of his ferocity. What if he carries a gun? Things can get ugly. 

I didn't say a word, looked away and took a step to get to the opposite side. His words still reeling in my head. I stopped and looked back at him. He left with a rage. I could hear he was still yelling something while was riding away. I walked away, head down, wondering what just happened. 

As I walked towards my destination, I realised, I had a stubble, not very heavy but enough for whites to 'assume' which religion and country I belong to. How disgusting can people get? I am still trying to come to terms with what happened. It was probably a one off incident, but then I am really amazed and saddened at the fact that there are people in this country who still single out a particular religion. Even if I belonged to place the attacks were planned at, how can someone just accuse me of being the culprit? Why do they have to blame everyone for the wrong-doing of a certain few? 

There can probably never be an answer to this question. I am fortunate enough to have only been exposed to an ugly conversation. There are so many other innocents who have been tagged as extremists and barred from living a normal life in this country. Only and only because they belong to a certain religion and come from a certain country. I can feel for them. I will overcome this soon enough. But am sure some of the other less fortunate ones would probably never be able to. 

It is a pity that such a wonderful country has such narrow-minded people. I just came across one of them. There may be so many. People's attitude needs to change. I can only hope it changes with time. It probably will change if the current generation keeps passing the message lower down that humanity is above all nationality and religion. History books will keep telling us what happened, but we should learn to live in the future. Why discuss past events and further incite differences? 

Phew.. I should be fine. I wish I would not have to write another such experience again. No one would. I hope. 

Monday, August 27, 2012

Too shy, and I don't know why..

"I have known her since I was 9 years old. She was my best friend ever since. Everyday we used to sit together for class and exchange our notes the next day. I used to secretly stare at her face and her hair, wishing she was mine. She never used to see me the same way. And that was fine. Coz, I was with her all the time. She used to kiss my cheeks, and her caring hugs used to make me feel nice. And soon enough I realised, I wanted something more from this. I wanted to tell her straight from my heart that I loved her. But then, I was just too shy, and I don't know why."

"She was a dancer, and a beautiful one at that. She looked very pretty and graceful as ever. Dedicated and hard working, she was the perfect one for me. She used to write notes in her diary every day. Notes that no one could read. The beach was our favorite place to spend time together. Everyday we used to stroll endlessly. I loved the feeling of being with her all day. I wanted to tell her there, that she was more than just a friend, that I loved her. But then, I was just too shy, and I don't know why."

"Late in the night, when my phone rang. It was her. I wondered what happened? She used to call me and cry. She told me everything. Everything that she went through. She was feeling low and down and was wanting to be loved. I used to console her and did it selfishly though. I had noticed that when things went wrong, she always shared with me and wanted me to be around. I couldn't sleep that night. And I figured she may not have too. I should have said the words. But then, I was just too shy, and I don't know why."

"There were days when I used to sing and strum for her. But she never used to enjoy. Never was she impressed. And I was fine with that. Coz, she was the best and no one could question that. Best in her dancing, best in singing, best in her acads. I was so impressed. Slowly but surely, years passed by. She had to leave the city for her masters. I always wanted to keep her close. A tight hug was all that I could do before she could leave. I wanted to keep her near, but I couldn't tell her. And soon after she disappeared. As I had always imagined, she looked very pretty in her wedding dress. I remained seated near the aisles."

"I used to meet her. We used to talk, share our experiences with each other. I felt I should tell her that I loved her despite my fear. But it was too awkward to express now that she was away. Distance kept us busy in our own lives. But we remained friends always. She had two kids. I loved playing with them and buying them gifts. Her husband was successful, smart and kept her happy. I remained the struggling writer I always was, alone, unpleasant."

"After several years, I grew old. Yet alone with heart of a stone. And then one day, my phone rang. It was her husband. I got to know that the girl I had loved for 60 years was no more. She died at 69. Memories of the past came flashing to my eyes, as I paid my last respect to the love of my life. My feelings still hidden to me, her husband handed me the diary in which she used to write everyday. With a heavy heart I started reading."

"He has been my best friend, ever since we were 9. I stared at him everyday wishing he was mine. I wanted to tell him that, but I didn't know what he feels about me. I feared for our friendship, I feared it would all end. I held back my feelings, only hoping that he would read my signs. I notice him staring at me sometimes, but I don't know why he looks away the next moment. I don't know if he loves me or wants things to remain the same way. I am sure if he feels the same, he will find it in him to confess his love and convey. But then, I can't keep waiting for long. Things need to move. I wish he tells me now. He seems too shy. Too shy, and I don't know why."

------

"But that is not how the story ends. Coz am not shy anymore."

I looked at her. As I finished reading my story. She looked at me with awe, tears rolling down her eyes and a gentle smile. I could notice the diary in her hand. It was held tight. The moment said it all. Everyone was applauding my story at the open mic story-narration gathering at the college cafe. But that didn't matter to me. I could hear the claps as she came towards me and gave me the most assuring hug I have ever got from her.

I couldn't stop my tears. Tears of joy.

PS: With all due credit to 'Too Shy' - A Student Short Film by Ryan Hutchins (Hutchbaby Productions).