Missing Myself!

Worry takes over,
When I feel something’s missing.

It’s a feeling so weird,
And a feeling full of dullness,
Almost like a nightmare
I had always feared.

Today I am smiling,
But tomorrow I frown,
Alas, it’s the curse of the self destructing brain cell
That makes me feel brown.

When you ask me what is wrong
I have no answer, no reason to say.
And as funny as it may sound,
I don’t know myself, the problem or the way.

They say life is short, make the most
But then, I don’t fear for the most, coz,
I still fight for the least.
And that’s where the fear shows.

I cry within,
I cry for my being.
Surely, a break I desire, for,
The path in front is crumbled and falling.

Am alone in here,
Life is such a nasty thing.
Am afraid, I got to do something soon, for,
It's not just another mood swing!

My random thoughts,
Are taking over my randomness for sure
Am feeling a bit weird,
Coz, I miss myself, and there seems to be no cure!

Why do we have to fight?

I just wrote this to ease of some tensions within our college working committee so that we sort out differences and work as a team towards making our annual event Pratyaksha '10 a grand success -

When they created it,
They were concerned.

Worried for whether it will sustain
Still they did it, and they did it right
For, it was passion and not worry that was their might.

Why then do we have to fight?

While some don’t know the purpose,
Some don’t care to know the reason.
Still we work as a team,
We do it for them, for us, for all good times, fun and seasons.

Remember your first day in college?
You were all smiles,
Gradually though…why do I see grief?
Why do I see anger? Why do I see distance in miles?

Am sure it was not intentional,
Am sure somewhere, someone is sorry for it all.
But why keep it in you and keep it boiling through?

If you run away, you have taken a convenient way out.
You still win, we might still win too.
But we don’t care to see the loss.
We lose a friend; we lose a way of life.
Take your pick, don’t think, for it’s easier to decide than a toss.

It may not be the passion; it may not be the worry,
That may drive you to come.
Think about the drop of sweat, the pain that they take in teaching us.
Think about the strain, the anxiety in them to lock the rooms when we leave.
Think about the rusty fans, and the age old chairs, they are waiting for us.
Think of that boss, who makes you work like hell whole day.
And still you look forward to evening and that Room No 12 at the corner.

What is it that brings this day?
What made us so futile and frail?
It is the larger interest of the college that we work,
And much larger is the interest of the self and much larger is the perk.

Hoping to see renewed energy in the days to come,
A heartfelt sorry may be the solution for some.
Don’t think that ‘sorry’ is a word for the weak,
For, saying sorry shows how strong a man can be in times of problems thick!

Still nothing is lost,
And nothing does it cost.
So lets do it, and do it right.
Be it passion, worry, or simply fun as your might.

And remember, we don’t have to fight!


- Milind Gandhi
(So-called Event Head)

Pratyaksha '10

Poem I wrote on Pratyaksha '10 - The JBIMS Annual Event!

Starting from the blues of Monday
and the twists of Tuesday
with the wild Wednesday
and the thrills of Thursday
along with the fun of Friday
and the serenity of Saturday
comes the superlative Sunday!

A Sunday full of life,
is just the ideal one you need.
A day to planet earth,
Is a day of good deed!

After struggling through the week,
you look forward to unwind.
A day with friends and fun,
Certainly, a day worth all the grind!

Come to Pratyaksha ‘10,
For you shall never forget this day.
Come and enjoy, for, we promise,
It’s not going to be just any other Sunday!

Pratyaksha ‘10
Go Green!

I have a Dream...

I have a dream...

To be at ease with all that I have,
To fly high with my feet on the ground,
To be happy and still brave to rave,
To be a fanatic and still remain sound.

I want to be famous,
I want to be rich,
Though not too much to let enemies amass,
Not too much to be afraid of the ditch.

I feel I should be home,
When I feel I should be away.
Lord, help me, for
I live two worlds each day.

To dream is to wish,
To live is to accept.
I dream a life, I live another,
Am caught, I must say, and it’s so apt.

Each one of us is the same,
Each one of us is sane,
But still we regret to dream,
And still in sorrow we remain.

It’s not easy to face,
It’s not easy to dare,
Nor to remain calm and share,
But then, who says life is fair?

I have a dream...
Though worth a penny,
I have a dream...
Rather, dreams too many.


- Milind Gandhi

On a writing spree..

There was a time when I used to actually think and ponder on what to write about in my blog. But things have changed, and changed for the good. Strangely, I have suddenly developed a flair for writing. I now have 3 distinct ideas in my mind which I am surely going to pen down soon. Two of them infact are already in the process of being written.

I wish to get these published in any newspaper or magazine. Its now my dream to write a book and this experience of writing articles will surely help me along. One thing that keeps me going is the appreciation that I have already received from some of my close buddies for my previous blog posts. They feel I have good writing skills. But I do not think so. I think I need to add a little more variety to my vocabulary which I am afraid am not very good at. If you notice, I have never used any heavy words in any of my posts. Same goes with my articles, which I fear will mark them down when compared to the work of other more accomplished writers.

All said and done, the bottom line is that I will not let this flair in me get bogged down, come what may. I am working towards my dream and am confident of improving with every new article and blogs to come. Will surely share my articles soon.. but not in this blog.

A new blogger id for my articles is coming soon.. Till then, adios! Happy reading to you, and happy writing to me. :)

Touching Lives..

Back with a difference! Yes, am certainly back to the blogosphere after a long break. Back and how. Feels great to put some pressure on the usually snoring dead brain cells and come up with something exciting to write about.

This time round though, its coming straight from the heart than from the mind. Its about life.. touching life!

I feel so proud to be associated with Touching Lives. I think it is one of the only very genuine NGOs around in the city that really, in the true sense, makes a difference. I don't know if my words would make sense but when I went to the slum area today for the first time, what I heard and saw was truly amazing. Small children came running towards Sonia (Founder of Touching Lives) calling her Sonia didi, and that to me is what is meant my making a difference.

Merely donating some cash, or sponsoring a child's education does not really mean you are touching a life. It is those little things like spending quality time, teaching, playing with the kids that really counts. It is an amazing feeling to see small children run towards you in sheer excitement just because you are taking them out to play in a garden. It is fun to see the innocent and cute smile on their faces when they look at your camera lens. It is truly blissful to see the amazing display of creativity and freshness in their paintings.

Feels really great to join this wonderful team of young people led by Sonia. I think it a great mix of youth and experience, energy and passion on display which will go a long long way.

So, how often have you touched life? For me, I just started today and now there's no looking back.

Exhilerating Disgust!

Five hours of sleep, Morning through afternoon full of caffeine, Evening of rush and leaving office in a hurry.. and a night full of exciting highs & forgetable lows!

That describes my topsy-turvy day leading to this very moment when I write this. My laptop clock shows a time of 03:17 AM and am writing for the very first time from somewhere away from home. Am in college currently preparing for our event coming up on Sunday. My day was super hectic today.. and is going to be more so in the couple of days to come. We are organising a Farewell Event for the TY students named Sayonara '09.

Confused? Well, this was what I wrote and saved in draft, of what was supposed to be my next exciting post here. It was written in the early hours on Saturday, 6th June and I was to continue writing once my event was over. Sadly though, it was my last attempt at writing on the blog from my Dell Lappie. It's gone now.

It was an eventful weekend. We had so little time on our hands before our event and so much to do. Om, Ajay, Prashant, Tushar & me decided to stay overnight in college Friday night since there was a lot to do. Besides working hard for the initial few hours of the night, what I encountered for the rest of the night was nothing short of a thriller.

Ajay & Prashant, who went to hunt for food at about 1 AM in Fort area, came back limping & with torn pants. They had tripped off the bike and bruised their legs and elbows badly. It was an accident! While Om did the first aid and applied Dettol on the bruises, me and another friend zoomed off to get Soframyacine and get some food along since we all were really starving. We had to go all the way to Bombay Hospital to get the medicines and on our way back stopped by BadeMiya's for some rolls.

Prashant & Tushar left soon after while Om, Ajay & me decided to stay on. Ajay was preparing the video which was to be given to each of the TY students as a momento,Om & me were busy on our lappies, playing! With no mood to sit and cut thermocol pieces & paint, we spent a rather philosophical Friday night in college discussing about each others strengths & weaknesses, and about how life was and is. It was pleasing to really get to know some of my college buddies, who are very close friends now.


Anyway, as D-Day was approaching, we all got quite busy preparing for the event. Since I was the so-called Event head that day, though I don't think I did anything at all, I was kept busy with a lot of decoration, printing, event flow discussion and stuff. Saturday whole day went in crafting the decorations. McVeggies, Golden glitters, fevicol, water paints, coke, drinking water, all scattered amidst people working! It was a great mix of energy & passion on display. With no sense of time & oneself, everyone contributed selflessly to the event, atleast the making of the event.. It was truly dramatic.

The same bunch of guys who stayed back Friday night decided to stay back Saturday night as well! If only I would have shown such dedication in studies, I can only imagine where I would be. Saturday night was all work little fun. We were tired, dead sleepy but still managed to hang on till about 4 odd when we realised, we had to rest for a while.

Come D-day, and I reach college at 1.30 PM and guess what I am clearly late! Most of the guys are already there and with just 5 hours to go for the event to begin, it was panic situation. I gave my laptop to guys who were burning the CDs to be given away as momento and started focusing on getting the decor in place. Besides also quickly briefed Prasad & Prachi, who were the hosts, the event flow and various games. Neha helped a lot! Unlike her size, she has some serious passion & energy towards such events. Hats off!

Soon, the audi was ready. Having just arrived from Ajay's office with some prints, we were all set to go. Everything seemed to fall in place suddenly and it was time for it to all begin.

People slowly started trickling in. The response was clearly not up to our expectations. Nevertheless, the fact that it was the last day in college for most of them, it was a memorable evening for those who turned up. The video made it all the more memorable. We did a pretty decent job I felt gauging through the reaction of the audience. Although I realised, I have a lot to improve on when it comes to Event handling, it was a truly enriching experience for me. And I strive to do much better, come the next event.

The photo session was exciting. All the guys, including me, were dying to click a snap with the 'white & brown stripped girl' ;-). And why not? She was cute. Having done with all the post event nonsense, it was time to pack up and leave. I was in a mood to head straight to Leopold and enjoy the next couple of hours in celebration of the event. We were all ready to pack up and leave and that's when Disaster struck!

I got everything but the most valuable thing, my laptop! It was missing. I laughed it out initially, thinking it was a prank by someone but soon realised I am in for an forgettable incident! It was actually missing. A big, bulky, black Dell Inspiron went missing. Someone flicked it!

I was stunned. Couldn't speak a word. Everyone went berserk searching for it, right from the Audi to Room No 12 to the second floor but in vain. I failed to digest how a laptop could go missing from the college when all of whom present were us students! It's so freaking hard to believe it could be flicked from college premises. I somehow gathered courage to admit the fact that it was missing and headed home with fear and dejection in mind.

It was not my fault, was it? Or was I really careless? I didn't know then.. I still don't. Can't describe the level of fear in my mind while I was heading home. I was so scared of my parents' reaction that I just couldn't talk it out to them that night.. nor the next morning before leaving for work.. I just couldn't say it. Had to call my brother and tell him the entire episode. My bro in turn called my parents, and what followed what something I last experienced almost a decade ago when I had failed in my maths prelim paper in VII class.

I had to face the music. I guess I deserved it, in a way. I certainly should have been careful. I should have atleast known where my laptop was last being used. Anyway, all said and done, I must say all my friends that night helped a lot in trying to find my laptop. So much so that we all are in the process of drafting and sending a letter to the Director urging him to increase the security standards in college. Anyone, just about anyone, can enter the college premises without any hesitation. It just goes to show the sorry state of security.

What followed that dreadful weekend was a series of visits to the college & police station and major pondering on whether a police complaint should be lodged for the case. Turns out, it is very essential to lodge a complaint to be on the safer side and I will surely need to do one and quickly.

It was that dreadful weekend that really opened my eyes. 9 days from then, here I sit today and write my story of failure and a sense of disgust. I almost get that 'fighting a lost battle' kind of a feeling now. Again, just when things seem to fall in place, another episode of outright dejection in life. I fear, what's next?

Really, life can't be so harsh, can it?

Will I ever get to live life my way?